Learning about Fraud Recovery through Translating My Love on the Line Book to Finnish

Docendo, my Finnish publisher asked if I would be willing to translate my own book to Finnish.

‘It would be published early next year (2018)’, they said. 

I was really hesitant to do it.

‘You could work on it and improve on it’, the editor suggested. ‘Some chapters could be extended and so on. It would be a new extended edition, just for Finland’.

So, I got excited about this possibility, but was still very uncertain to begin on my own. 

‘I need a good editor’, I counted. 
‘Well, you have one, right here’, the editor said.

What a relief! Finally, I could rely on someone to brush up my spelling and grammar. If you have been corrected all your life, it truly leaves you with low self-confidence. But I am determined to help others recover from the trauma of fraud, especially romance scams, so I had to overcome my fear.

Despite that, my mind was somehow permeated with dread. How could I cope? Would it take ages and ages to fit my two language boxed side by side, in my head? I saw my dyslexia as a barrier, once again, in accomplishing the task. It seemed like an endless highway of doubts and anxieties. I was depressed – again. A low moment. Luckily, my ex-husband came to my rescue.

‘I will help you’, he said through Skype from other side of the world.

I knew his language skills were perfect. I am so grateful. And so we have been working on it for about two months now and getting better at it.

Skype is such a great working tool, I have learned. It enables you to really be in the same room with your team despite the distance of half the world. And translating something I had worked really hard on my second language to my mother’s tongue has given me a whole new perspective to my own writing. I am even getting to appreciate my own thinking patterns. Sometimes I go like WoW! Did I really write that? And there are new words I have learned, as well.

Language is such a wonderful thing. There are words that are trendy, and translations that seem to get lost between languages. Sometimes there are excitement with finding new words that have been created and learning about them give you some delighted moments in time. You can really appreciate the meaning behind the words. And your understanding had expanded a bit, once again. Besides, you can learn a lot about yourself and about the subject matter at hand. Mine is fraud, by the way.

The book I am translating is called Love on the Line. How to Recover from Romance Scams Gracefully and without Victimisation, if you haven’t read my blogs before. I have gotten a new kind of depth to my writing and I am understanding myself better now. My ex, there on the other side of the world is really supportive and without his skills and language competency I would be in trouble in remembering every expression, after living in Australia for the last twenty odd years. How great is it to remember! And how great is it to finally get an equivalent meaning to a word like empowerment. (It is voimaantuminen, by the way). I had never even really realised that before a couple of years ago, there was not a word for this expression. Now, it is used very often in many situations. Some have even commented that they are sick of it. It is such a positive word and used too often, they complain. Does it go with the more downtrodden Finnish mind set? I feel it does, and I am delighted to finally be able to freely use it.  

Other things I have learned is that now, after two years from writing my first book, I am still feeling the same. But I have evolved. My recovery has truly moved to another level. I am eagerly writing my second book Love on the Line 2. How to Empower Yourself after Recovery from Trauma. And it is coming along very well. I am so very excited about it as well. And extending some chapters for my Finnish readers feels like this book is evolving with me. Now I know much more. Now I have contacts and a whole community that is working for the same cause. I am a member of trauma and fraud prevention support groups and know other people who are there and that helps, not only me but others as well. Great development!

I am trying to keep my Website up to date with information. Sometimes it is lacking behinds some, due to my enthusiasm to get these books on the go by the deadlines I have. So, thanks for being patient with me and supportive and everything. Especially I am thanking my ex for he is a great fellow and we are having such fun doing the translation.

What I am saying is: Watch this space! More will be coming, soon.

Desperately Seeking Empowerment for the Victims of Fraud

It is the last day of the National Consumer Fraud Week in Australia (15-19.5.2017) and I am researching the concept of #empowerment for my new standalone book Love on the Line 2: How to empower yourself after surviving the trauma of fraud. (The book will be out at the beginning of 2018 through Xlibris). I have been reading the news articles about the new 2016 Australian Competition and Consumer Commission report on scamming which states that there has been a 47% increase in reporting fraud in Australia. The combined report from the ACCC and the Australian Cybercrime Online Reporting Network also states that Australians lost the whobbling $200 million to Online fraud last year, including romance scams and financial fraud. What news! And what can we say about this report that would be constructive in helping the recovery of the fraud victims, especially for the victims of romance scams.

First of all, the rise of the reporting can show us that people are becoming more aware of the scammers on the social networks. That might be positive but it can also be the same kind of hike as is seen in Scandinavia with rape reporting. It is about the environment in which we live in. In Scandinavia, the definition of rape is much more severe than in other countries, like in Russia, for example, where there is not, any more, any concept of rape in the marriage by law. In Scandinavia, there is also a more open debate on the issue of rape, which allows the victims to feel safe in reporting the crime. However, that is not the case with the scamming victims, especially those who would like to talk about it on social media.

In Australia, it seem that at least the reporting and anonymous victims are more aware and safer in their reporting of fraud. That is not to say that they feel any safer at speaking out about scamming, especially romance scams, as the victim blaming is so rampant on both the social media and amongst the everyday talk about the issue. It is in the analogy with the rape culture where the victims feel ostracised and the scammers feel virtuous. So, who is being empowered, the victims of crime or the fraudsters who, in this world, are so free to commit their discretions?

My understanding about empowerment comes from my feminist background. The whole concept is fairly new because as a young feminist we did not speak about empowerment but about emancipation. In my own language, which is Finnish, I have only heard the translation to the world in the last three years. And in the other language, Swedish, which I also speak, my understanding of the translation has not yet kicked in either. So, how can you be something, you have no real worlds for? But it does have to do with power, right? And whose is the power?

Secondly, the report shows quite clearly, that the power between the fraudsters and the victims and the international crime syndicates and the law, still seems to be on the side of the criminal, despite a lot of new information and a lot of effort from the police. And I am lucky to be a member of the most supporting groups, both Online and in my State of Queensland in Australia.

What we as victims of trauma are so desperately seeking is recovery and after that empowerment.  Because, when one has been a survivor or fraud, especially romance scams, it will never leave him/her and will make the world seem less safe. It sort of takes you out of the cocoon of being right about everything and makes you humble in the face of the enormity and the complexity of the crime and the scamming scene. What we need is more information, more compassion and more awareness.

Luckily, there are methods that will help the person suffering from the trauma. Self-help methods or Online methods, like www.romancescamsnow.com where you can find a lot of information. And in the wait of my new book, there is also my current book, Love on the Line. How to recover from romance scams gracefully and without victimisation.  And from my website you can also start gathering more information for empowerment.

My mission is not to let the fraudsters win the race to empowerment but learn to shift the power to myself and to the others who have gone through a traumatic experience like mine. It can be anything. Luckily, at the same time as the social media is presenting the fraudsters more opportunities, it is also presenting the survivors opportunities for resistance. It is the matter of acting.

Empowerment means the will to change, to shift and to start the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights. So, let’s act on it, shall we!
Just look at this ACCC report to be convinced.

How to Get Educated about Internet Fraud?

Going back one year of my life and it feels like a lot has changed. My book Love on the Line. How to Recover from Romance Scams Gracefully and without Victimisation was just published and here we stood, my friends Chris, Fiona and I posing with the new printed information. It was the definite start to my education on romance fraud, scamming and people who have been affected by this ever increasing global crime scene.

I definitely loved the colour of my book, pink. Little did I know that one year from the publication of my book, fusain pink would be a new colour of the women activism of the world. Cheers for that! I am just about to knit my own hat. I feel this year I need one to upgrade my efforts to educate people about internet fraud and activism. For me, last year on the road, talking at 20 events, mostly libraries was an eye opener. And I started writing my second book as well. It will be about empowerment after surviving fraud.

For me, it is important to continue the recovery from the traumatic experience and why? Because, it will never go away! It will always be there as an experience, nagging me to awareness. In one year, I have gone through such a learning curve that I never thought possible. I have totally re-evaluated my whole life from start to finish, from birth to this present moment in time, in relation to my experience as a survivor of Internet fraud.

It has made me stronger. It has given me a new purpose. It has reconnected me with my own sources of strength. This years theme for the Women's Day #BeBoldForChange truly applies to me. This year I have elevated from humbly starting to call myself an author, to Author, Speaker and Professional Anti-Scamming Activist. How great is that! You can see the upgrade on my Website. I feel so proud. I am proud of myself, proud of all the people, friends, family and supporting networks that have contributed to my change. It has been profound.

Yesterday, I was excited about my new ventures. Soon I will be going to Europe: Finland, Sweden and the UK. I cannot wait to talk about my book, and how to avoid Internet fraud and start the process of recovery and continue with the process of empowerment from thereafter.

Here is a cheer to my new challenges, to my new adventures. I will report back. For now I am just so grateful. I recommend: get on with the program and get educated, buy a copy of my book, for example, Read it to start with your own journey to recovery and further to empowerment and to a great life that is void of fraud, Become observant and aware of the hazards of the modern digital world. Be safe. Be an activist. Have a life.

Love is an Online Battlefield

             

Picture is taken by Aila Peteri at the 'Sydney Sister's Event, Feb. 2016

For a few months now, I have been traveling around the South East Queensland visiting libraries and giving talks titled: Love in an Online Battlefield. Meeting so many people who have been interested in my book Love on the Line, How to Recover from Romance Scams Gracefully and without Victimisation has truly been an inspiring and an exciting experience. Sharing the story of  my recovery as a victim and a survivor of a romance scam has opened my eyes to a much wider understanding of how our new digital world works in relation to adapting itself to the old and already well established social and cultural though patterns that have already been built into the structures of our society.

The included picture depicts perfectly my surprise and my feelings of devastation after relising that I had been targeted by a fraudster, who not only had used identity theft in obtaining pictures for his already false profile and made up storylines but who also expected me to part from my money in order for him to come and see me face-to-face. Turned out that I was a victim of false promises by a false profile with a false picture to boot. As an after thought, it is quite horrifying to think about how vulnerable and foolish I did feel myself after finally realising that what I had thought to be a wonderful and trusting experience had tuned out to be fake and a huge mistake.

Luckily, I had my elder son to lean on when he told me to concentrate on my positive feelings instead of the negative and hateful ones. That suggestion became my Muse helping me to write my book about the experience. Since my book was published in January 2016, I have learned that my experience and my recovery has been quite a miracle, statistically speaking, as there are so few people who actually recover and this being indifferent to the amount of money they lose as a survivor. It is only the general perception of scamming that equates the money lost to the scammers with the worth of the experienced grief as more valuable that just losing a lover. The victims and survivors themselves, at least those who have since shared their stories with me feel that it is the loss of the relationship that is more important and longer lasting than the loss of the money, however much that may be.

 

The report card from SCARS (The Society of Citizens against Romance Scams) gives its grim statistic that is only 'the tip of the ice-berg' about the state of the romance fraud in the word today. Some of my QLD Police Fraud Prevention and Support Group's discussions have revealed that up to estimated $7-13 billion has been lost to fraud, including the financial and romance fraud only in 2015 alone. It is huge numbers. And not only that but I have found that my speculations about the connection of scamming with the messages imbedded in the idea of pornography that gave impetus to me starting to write my book have now become even more direct. I have found through the stories that have been shared that there is a true connection with violence and scamming.

This RomanceScamsNow.com picture says it all. In my experience romance scams are not only violence against women but are thoroughly based on the violent behavior patterns inbuilt in our society in many levels, starting from violence against women and continuing permeating every possible sociocultural paradigm that can be found through the ideas that are implicit in pornography and prostitution as an example. But why not come and listen to my talk, if you happen to be  near Gold Coast in Queensland, Australia or Logan, in the Brisbane area. This week is my SUPER LIBRARY WEEK, seven libraries in four days between Wednesday the 5th  and Saturday the 8th of October, 2016. Go to my Website to learn more.

Next week, starting from Tuesday the 11th of October, at five libraries at Sunshine Coast, you can follow my thirty-five year journey as a researcher and feminist and hear how my career has shaped my desire to make a difference titled: Modern Sexual Exploitation. You find all the information from my Website as well.

But most of all I recommend you to read my book. Ask for it at your library or at your bookstore. Or just order it online through my publisher Xlibris. Mostly, see you at the library talks at the library near you. You can also find out more by visiting my Media page.

  

Love on the Line TV Conversations with Patricia Meister in 2 Parts

Welcome to a new and interesting Love on the Line TV Conversation.

This time I have the pleasure to introduce to you Patricia Meister, from Bundaberg, Australia who is a great example of a person who had a positive outlook in a dare situation. Namely, she is a victim of fraud, of a Romance Scam to be exact. Though her experience, she has suffered a substantial loss of money but that is not the most important part in this conversation. She has lost a lover, someone, who she thought was nearing what could be a soulmate, forever. It feels like death, losing someone you trusted to a scam. It is a huge betrayal.

Luckily, Patricia has taken a positive approach to her own recovery and is doing everything to get on top of her disappointment. She has done everything possible to educate herself and others: joined support groups, both face-to-face like the QLD Police Fraud Prevention Group and also many Online groups which can be found on Facebook, especially through the RomanceScamsNow.com

I was privileged to drive up to Bundaberg and have this conversation with her. She told me the story of her complex scamming experience. Afterwards, we discussed romancing, recovery strategies and possible happy endings.

You can find this Love on the Line TV Conversation in two parts from  my YouTube Channel:

Part 1 & Part 2

And if you want to also read it. Here is the transcript of our conversation. Both part 1 & 2

Please enjoy and remember to subscribe to my YouTube channel, so that you do not miss our other conversations. You can also follow me on my blog to make sure you receive every story. Also check my Website for news, like the Love on the Line South East QLD Book Tour continuing on Tuesday September the 13^th at Logan Hyberdome Library at 10 am.

Here is the script:

LOVE ON THE LINE TV CONVERSATIONS WITH PATRICIA MEISTER

E: Welcome to Love on the Line TV Conversations. This is a special conversations from up state QLD in Bundaberg. In this winter sun shine, which is a little bit on our face, actually. And, I am here talking with Patricia Meister.

I am very honored to have you talking with me and thank you and welcome Patricia.

P: Thank you. I am honored to have you speak to me as well.

E: It is so interesting how we met, isn’t it?

P: It is, indeed

E: and we met through the QLD Police Recovery Group

P: Yes, that’s where we met.

E: And it is, in my opinion, quite interesting, how sometimes when you have been scammed like this. I mean like have. We’ve been survivors of scamming. You actually make new very, very interesting friends. Don’t you?

P: It’s opened a whole new door for me, in terms of meeting new people. So, in that way, it’s been a really positive thing. There is a positive thing.

E: Yes, and there are thing that are happening. It’s online. You had bought my book before. And I was really, really intrigued when you told me this is how you met that group. And there was another person there as well who said oh, they had listened to Love on the Line TV Conversations and that’s how they found the group. So, we might as well say that this group meets every second Sunday of the month at the Qld Police Headquarters. So, if you happen to be listening to us or looking at us. Then, here are two people you find who have actually found this group through meeting and reading books.

P: Yeah

E: Well. Tell me about your story. It is quite complex and we actually counted about ten scams. So, I’ll give it to you. Tell me.

P: My story is complex. I did actually, by accident, come across my scammer online. He groomed me for probably a good four weeks before he really started to ask me for any money. In that time, he romanced me. He gave me music. He gave me poetry. He spent a lot of time priming me, if you like. And so, the first request for money was actually not a huge amount. He had supposedly entered Malaysia with a large amount of money and had his goods confiscated by emigration.

E: I see

P: Then after series of events trying to get the goods back. The first request was for living expenses because his credit card supposedly didn’t work in Malaysia. So, the first request for money was round about $600. And, even though it felt wrong to me, I went ahead and I did that transfer. And that was the first transfer I made to Malaysia. It was probably the beginning of a series of events that lead me on an incredible fantasy journey that ended up relieving me off a large sum of money, in the end.

The second request came to get the goods out of emigration and then after that money was sent, which was quite sizable sum. The next amount of money was then because the goods then went to the head man of emigration. So, there was another large amount of money required, there. Then at that time the money was supposed to be deposited back to me. However, it never happened because the bank was funny about the amount of money. So, the next step was that we would send it by diplomatic courier. So, the diplomatic courier then delivered this supposed consignment of money. It was very professional and I, I couldn’t pick that it was fake. It had its own tracking menu. It had tracking sheets that I could access. However, then the money went to the courier company which then supposedly, the money then went to the Kuala Lumbar Airport where it was held up because, we then required an exit clearance fee.

E: Oh right. And a large one.

P: That was a large one. That was around about $25000. So, after that amount of money was paid, I was then told that to make it completely safe to come back here, we would then require a Diplomatic Red Stamp. So that was another amount of money, of course.

And, all the while now, I was starting to be very concerned about this consignment in that he had sent me an application form from Malaysian internal affairs that he had filled out with the address listed as the address of my business. And by that time I was so far in that it was very hard to get out because in my mind I had a consignment of money siting at Kuala Lumbar Airport that was listing me as a recipient. However, there was no consignment as we found out in the end.

But, it then sort of led into a Red Stamp situation where that was more money. So, then, finally, the money was acquired to get this Red Stamp and the consignment supposedly was on its way to Australia. And then I had a tracking sheet telling me that the consignment was in New Zealand and then there was another tacking sheet to tell me it was now at the Melbourne Airport.

At the same time, I got a SMS message from supposed diplomat with an Australian phone number, telling me that the consignment had now been held up at the Melbourne Airport and required an entry clearance fee of another $25000. So, at this stage, I guess, I was still believing that this was a reality, though I was starting to think: ‘OMG, so many stories. How can there be so many dramas?’ And you know, money was getting harder to get, by this stage.

E: And what was the thing that tipped it over?

P: The tipping it over in terms of me realising that I’d been scammed?

E: Yes

P: Well. I got the entry clearance money together. That week my scammer was supposed to be coming back here. We were also supposed to be doing Skype that week. And he was supposed to be picking up the entry clearance money from the bank that morning, to deliver it to the courier company and book his flights. End of story.

E: Yeah?

P: Well, of course that never happened. And I got a phone call at work, on that Monday afternoon and I had a rather, shall we say, unpleasant…  He was an Asian man. And, he then said to me that my scammer had been involved in a very serious car accident with his lawyer.

E: Oh

P: Of course, the lawyer was the main player in this scam all the time. The lawyer was the one that he dealt with emigration. The lawyer was the one, whose bank account I was supposed to be paying into. At the end it did appear that the lawyer was a Malaysian woman who worked with telecommunications. And, that was what I found, when I Googled that name which was a very unusual name.

Anyway, he was supposed to be in a critical condition. And all the while I was then getting emails from a so called Wellness Clinic. And being that I have a background in Medical Science, I started to sort of think to myself that if you are in a critical car accident, you are going to be in intensive care in a major hospital in Kuala Lumbar and I would not be getting an email from a wellness medical clinic with an Outlook email address. So, my son actually alerted me. He said: ‘Mom, there is no Wellness Medical Clinic in Kuala Lumbar.’ And he directed me to an embassy sight: US Embassy in Malaysia. And so, I went there and had a look and OMG, there was my story.

E: Ooh

P: You know. Almost. It was business man working overseas. He was a widowe. Scammers have incredibly bad luck.

E: I just wanted to ask you what really tipped you over. We counted now about nine different kinds of scams, which were one after the other, which your scammer, you know, tried on you and actually was quite successful. So, what was the tenth one that actually tipped it over?

P: It was the car accident. It was just one too many stories and I had read about people getting scammed because of accidents occurring and because of medical reasons. So, that really rang a bell for me. I wasn’t so savvy about the courier company and consignment and the confiscation of goods by emigration. I really was unaware of those kinds of scams but I had heard about the medical. And I used to keep thinking to myself, ‘well I haven’t had medical issue yet. So, when that happened, it just rang a huge bell with me. At that moment when I got that phone call from the Wellness Clinic, so called, I thought: ‘well, he is going to be in the major hospital, anyway. I would have a doctor phoning me.’

E: yeah

P: I wouldn’t have some incognito person giving me a ring. And, at that moment, I just kind of. I think, my heart just dropped to my shoes and I just though ‘OMG, I’ve been scammed’.

E: Yeah and by the time you counted the money, you had nearly lost a six figure sum, already.

P: Yes

E: So, it is quite a wakeup call. Is it?

P: It was a wakeup call. It was like. Actually, for the day. I couldn’t even finish my day at work. I was just OMG, you know.

E: Hmm. You also said you confronted your scammer?

P: Yeah, I did.

After the accident. You know the scam didn’t end there, because then they did try and hit me up for medical expenses. And by that time, wow, I was just out of money. So, then whilst he was supposedly in hospital, I then got hit up by the courier company for another $25000 for the entry fee which I refused to pay. They had then threatened they were going to hand the consignment into the Australian authorities.

And, I end up getting legal advice on that actually. My lawyer told me that I’d been scammed and there was no consignment, so ‘don’t pay any more money’.

E: Yeah, it’s quite interesting how long time. it went on for a quite a long time, six months you say?

P: Yeah, six to eight months

PART 2

E: Now, what I am very interested of course is the romancing. You said before that you liked my book because it was positive and I remember that because my son told me that, you know, ‘block him out, do all that, but remember the romancing’ and it was such a wonderful high. And I’ve heard you talking about it, too. And I think that we have there the common link that how on earth, you know, it is possible for a scammer to just crab your brain so much. So, what were your feelings about that?

P: I think that he groomed me very well. He found out as much as he could about me. I was at the time of my life where I was probably missing something in my life. And I was working very long hours. So, I didn’t really get out and about and socialise a lot. And, I’d never really gone online for anything like that and so. It sort of happened by accident in my life, really. It had its positives and negatives and I think that the thing I will say is that he was very polished. He was very educated man. He was incredible good with his grooming and his romancing. And he, I guess they tell you what you want to hear.

E: It hit every nerve?

P: It did and as you have said it in your book that it releases endorphins in your brain and they are basically the feel good hormones. And I think, for couple of months, until the money issue became a big issue for me. For the first few months of the scam, it became almost like an addiction.

E: Yes

P: His words of love. The beautiful music he would send, the poetry he would send. He really awakened a side of my personality that I had thought had died.

E: Yeah, I think that there is quite a lot of women who feel the same. This is what I would also say, that it woke up me into this world and I suddenly realised how strong this kind of thing is when you are getting your hormones and you are getting this high. And it is very much like a romance books. When you now read what he said, do you think that it is very much like from a romance book you read before?

P: Oh yes. When I do read back over it, I sometimes think: ‘OMG. How on earth did you ever get to the point that you did with this, because?’ But then when I read back over it and I think, well, he just made me feel like I was the most precious thing, ever.

E: Yes, I read some of the text messages what you got and I must say that, you know, they are very nice and very polished. And I would, even as, like an outsider, when I would read, I would like: ‘oooh, aah’. ‘That’s what he said to you’. That is true. I also had some of the very similar, like you know: ‘I never find anyone like you. You are the best and I love you so much’. And this was like you know, again and again and again in the text messages. And you had lots of emails. Oh no, no, they were not emails, they were on Facebook

P: I had and incredible amount of time put out for me. I wasn’t and easy snare, to be honest. I questioned everything. All the time. And he would come back with this incredible romancing and of course. When the money was there, the romancing would just become more and more intense.

E: Of course

P: There would be more music sent and more poetry sent and more dialog. And sometimes he would then want to be online with me, you know, not just once a day but twice a day.

E: Yes, to make sure that everything went well. Did you have some mess ups with sending things, like I did?

P: Initially, the bank security phoned me and more or less asked me how I had met this man, because it was out of character with my banking history, to be sending money overseas. And, they actually did say to me that they were problems with sending money to Malaysia and that they actually thought that I was being scammed. And I chose to ignore their warnings.

And the interesting thing was that right through the middle of it all, where the amounts were much higher that I was sending. They didn’t really question those. But they questioned the very first transfer and the last one. And they phoned me twice over the last one and said: ‘are you definitely sure you want to send this money and I said: ‘yes’. And, you know, even at that time, I was kind of starting to feel that things weren’t right.   

E: Yes, I understand completely. But then he has tried to come back again. A few times and more romancing.

P: The downpour of romance, and songs and the poetry was intensified on the second round. And, it was, I guess, because I haven’t taken a bait this time.

I hadn’t heard of him. He just fell off the side of the cliff, if you like and I was just left dangling there without the ledge to stand on. The phone number I’d been using in Malaysia was no longer working. The contact through Facebook stopped and virtually I did send him an email, at that stage, telling him that I knew he scammed me. And, I knew it didn’t bunch because it didn’t come back. So, I pretty much just sort of thought: ‘Well, I made a mistake. I financially almost kind of ruined myself’. Though I did keep my head to a degree with that and I didn’t let him take everything from me.

E: Yes.

P: But, he took enough to put me in dire straits for a short period of time. And I was lucky because I did have support systems around me that sort of helped me to get through that time, because it was a pretty devastating time for me. And, all of a sudden, it was like a withdrawal from all, because he just disappeared.

E: Yes, and then he comes back and asked for more.

P: The first real contact that I had back with him was about four weeks later. And I had a message sent to me: ‘Hello honey. It’s not what you think.’

So, then he followed through with that story. He always built a story out of a story. And he was so good at doing that. The next story was that he had been contacted by the FBI that I was quite correct in assuming that the courier company was fake and crooked. That the FBI had confiscated the consignment.

E: This was, like, also in the end, there was an identity theft with the FBI. That’s right? They wanted to have your IDs and even your passport?

P: Yes

E: How about recovery, then? What kind of recovery strategy you have now? Because, now, you are now at the stage where you know it is a scam but you are still a little bit into it. He is trying to get back to you and trying to involve your brain and your emotions into it. So, what know of recovery strategy are you thinking to do now?

P: Well, I have had to learn that I have to completely block everything, to do with him. So that I will then not have any contact whatsoever. Or he cannot contact me. And once I’ve actually achieved that goal, then, I will be able to move forwards a lot better, I Think, in my life. I’ve been very lucky with my recovery because I do have a business and my work that I really enjoy doing. And I do get to talk to people all the time, every day. So, I do have social contact there. And, I also have a number of different projects that I’d like to pursue.

E: I know that for me, writing my book distanced myself from the scammer and I had something else to think about and then, in that way I sort of lost the contact. And even the will to in any way be interested in him. And you have lots of lovely things happening.

P: Yes, and I think that the will to be interested does go at the time when you discover that you’ve been scammed, because it is such a huge betrayal of the trust. But on the other hand, as we talked about before, it is a type of addiction that you have. And so, you really need to fill that void.

E: That’s right. And you do have background in this.

P: You need to fill that with something different in your life. And for me, it’s opened up a whole lot of new direction for me that I could follow. And that’s been a really positive thing for me as well. So, I have managed to put together a tribute in the art gallery here for my mother’s talents as a dress designer in the 1940s and that’s something that I have wanted to do since she in 1999. So, that did occupy a lot of my time

E: Yes, and lots of possibilities there, too. I’ve seen the designs and they are fabulous.

P: There’s a lots of opportunities there to market these things in very productive fashion. And then, of course, I would really like to write a book on the experience but it is going to take some time. And I need to be a little bit distanced from it to really I think write it in a way that really is going to be appropriate.

E: Yes, you can join in our conversation in Happy Ending on how to rewrite your story which we are going to start here and have even eCourses and stuff like that, which are like according to what I had. What was my strategy in my book. You are very welcome to be part of that.

P: Yeah. I do find that it’s a bit raw now still. To go back and read over the dialog and think: ‘OMG and think: how did you ever? What were you thinking?’

E: What were you thinking? What did you have in mind? How did you imagined your happy ending would be?

P: My happy ending was. I guess. I’d had found this most wonderful man, who was going to be my soulmate forever and that we walk off into the sunset together.

E: Yeah, like today.

P: Which, of course, is not reality based. Real life is not full of romancing and fantasy journeys, is it?

E: No, it’s not a romance book. I think that romance books are a real exaggeration but they do get your brain and they get your endorphins going. So, at least some of that should be. We should be able to have right in our lives, I recon. Yeah, so, hopefully, we’ll find the new somebody who would be.

P: Yeah.  Hopefully, you never know what’s round the corner. And, I guess, maybe there is, sort of, you know, someone out there, that I’ve yet to find.

E: Well, thank you very much for coming and thank you very much for talking to me.

P: Yeah. Thank You.

E: (to the audience) You’ve been watching the Love on the Line TV Conversations special edition with Elina Juusola and Patricia Meister. And this is in Bundaberg. Please subscribe so that you won’t miss any other of our conversation. And have a wonderful week. Thank you so much for listening and watching.

Both: Thank You J

Launch of Author Elina Juusola Book Tour of Libraries

                                          Picture by Aila Peteri


The year 2016 has been very exciting for me as many people know. Firstly, my book Love on the Line. How to Recover from Romance Scams Gracefully and without Victimisation was published in January with the hugely successful book launch at the Avid Reader Bookshop in Brisbane. There was another launch at my local Gympie Library in February. I was also able to speak about the book in my mother tongue Finnish a few times, at some of our community events, the largest being the Suomipäivät (The Finnish Festivall This was not only in Queensland but also in Sydney with the Sydney siskot (Sydney sisters).We know that romance scams are the top #1 fraud crime in the world. It is a huge issue and we need to talk about it as much as possible.

I am really proud to say that my book has gotten a wider audience lately. All the reviews have been very positive. I am now launching a Library Tour first in Queensland and then interstate to further fraud prevention and specifically to help the people who have been targeted by romance scams.

My tour will start on the 6th of May at the Hervey Bay Library at 10 am. Everybody is welcome. Just remember to register. In June I will be at the Victoria Point Library on Friday the 24th of June and then at the Logan North Library on Friday the 15th of July, both at 10 am. Then after an overseas trip, we start again in September in Logan and Gold Coast. The schedule will be on my Website. I am also planning on new ways to spread the word about love and fraud prevention and recovery from targeted through LOVE ON THE LINE TV on YouTube and online eCourses on Narrative Healing Journaling. So, look for them on my website as well. For now here are some very interesting resent links about me and my book:

ABC Wide Bay Radio interview with Trudie Leigo aired on the 3rd of May at 10.13 am. It was also aired on 612 Brisbane State-wide later in the Drive program and there was a very nice article included in the ABC Local Top stories as well. Please, enjoy them and comment on them. Links are also posted on my Facebook page.

I wish you all the best. Especially I want to thank a Sydney artist Aila Peteri for the lovely picture.
Looking forwards to seeing you around in the library near you.

Time to Celebrate 'LOVE ON THE LINE' Book Launch

It is a special day for me today. It is the first of the firsts I have ever imagined. And I have imagined. 

It is a celebration of the publishing of my first book Love on the Line. How to Recover from Romance Scams Gracefully and without Victimisation. I am totally, totally stoked. 

This morning I went to the Xlibris.com.au and opened the bookstore and witnessed in realtime how my book appeared online. First it wasn't there, and then a minute later, it was. Both the hardcover and the softcover are now available. It was an incredible experience for me and a blatant display on how international we are in the publishing business. 

Very soon I can also celebrate my next milestone which is the website that has been designed by the Spartacus team and should be online any time now. That will be the second time I am able to witness something that I will always remember. The year 2016 will be such a huge year in my books, that it will stop the clocks and blow the horns loudly in my mind. It will also mean a lot of work for me. 

Self-publishing is actually not a ride in the park as everything that leads to the success of the book and the message depends on you. That means that even though there are so many people and so many tools that can help with the outcome of the message getting to the audience, it is still your responsibility as an author to make it happen. It is a huge learning curve, to say the least. And it starts now, after the book is online and can be purchased and read by those people who find it interesting. 

It is the eye catching pink book there online, with the attention catching title and the cool cover. Or so my marketing specialist says. And it should be out there because the message is very important. It is topical and it is transformative, It is about one of the top ranking issues on everybody's toungue right now, namely scamming and love. But most of all it is about recovery and a way forwards with dignity. It is something we all should know to talk about. Lastly it is challenging. 

Every book needs to be challenging the reader. It has to deliver on the promise it gives. I really hope that my book does just that, I urge you to give it a change, get it, read it and give me your feedback. I would want to travel everywhere talking about this important issue. Surprisingly, this issue is age old in a new suit. And we need to find a way to change it. We need to find a way to deal with it and recover from the trauma. Already, I am writing the second installment. 

But first, let's all celebrate! I have done it! My book is out. My world has changed. Let's open the champagne bottle and have a toast to new beginnings. Let's toast to friendship and kindness because if there was not such deep rooted friendships and kindness, my book would never have been written. Because, despite the hard work I put into it, if there were not friends, family and compassion, I wouldn't be here saying THANK YOU, thank you everybody for listening to my story.

THE BOOK LAUNCH will be at the Avid Reader Bookstore in Brisbane at West End on Friday the 22nd of January at 6 pm. You are all warmly welcome!

Why It Is Important to Highlight the Issue of Romance Scams

Just last week I was talking to a few people about my coming book LOVE ON THE LINE. I was enthusiastically explaining my theories and approaches only to be suddenly stopped by the realisation that the person I was talking with had been a victim of scam herself and when I asked if she had lost money, she said: 'Yeah, yeah!'

So, here it is again. More people in my list who are wondering just what happened or how come it happened and confirming that they lost money they can ill afford. Knowing that they never get their money back again. And even though I have now written a whole book explaining my views on how this can happen, I am still at awe of how it is that every time this issue of Romance Scams is raised in any conversation I am involved in, there always is someone who has been a victim.

Every conversation I have had with anyone about it has also revealed more people who know people who have been victims of romance scams. We should talk about it more. Maybe then those who have been affected could get some closure and not just keep it in their own private minds. Airing the issue makes more people feel less embarrassed about speaking out about their own experience. This is important as then those affected feel less isolated with their thoughts and experiences. 

In the Fraud Siupport Group I attend to, I hear people tell their story again and again. It is like they want to reassure themselves that it is a right thing to do. That the shock never truly lessen because, every time you think about it, you are confronted with the fact that it happened and it happened to me. Many victims keep asking themselves: 'How on earth was I so vulnerable?' And it never seems to go away, however much you think about it. It is like an ever rewinding record player. So, what can we do to move on and stop the self-blame? 

What I did was write a book. I looked at the research on how people who are affected by trauma cope with it. I investigated how directing the emotions an experience with romance scam to writing effect the  survival from the scam and how one might overcome in time. I tried to find a solution on how one might be able to move on with dignity intact and without victimasation. How successful I was, will be judged by the reader reaction and their feedback, once the book is published before the end of the year. But for me it was a freeing experience. 

I find that now, it is easier, and easier to raise the issue with anyone I encounter without feeling shame over the fact that it happened to me. I know that I am not alone with this experience. I know that there are more and more support structures being created. I know that there are more and more professional and government procedures being tightened so that people with experience about romance scams are able to find help and relief from their worry and wonder. 

You can start by Googling scamwatch.com.au or finding support pages from Facebook. Just write Romance Scam in the search. It does not matter where you are, in what continent or whichever country. Laws are being looked at and tightened. The issue of scams is being high lightened more and more and more. This is a good thing! It makes me happy to have written a book to further the recovery from romance scams in a small way. My book is about my own solution. But everything counts towards the more equal future against crime, violence and inequality in this world. 

Stay tuned. There is more on the way.

How to Become an Author for an English-Speaking Audience from a Non-English Speaking Background

I have always wanted to write. It is in my blood just like teaching.

When I was born, everyone we knew said that I was born to teach, just like everybody else in my family. I came to resist the idea with all my sinew and soul. I thought that teaching would be boring or restricting. To me who lived where my parents worked, it was one, two, three, one, two, three and then you are sixty and retire. It did not help because basically teaching is in my blood and whatever I do becomes an advisory position.

Though, now, I am almost sixty and still I have not really written that book I always wanted to write in English. Yes, I am published in several languages, Finnish, Swedish and English. At least one of my early articles published in 1984 on the Women's Movement in Finland has been translated to many more languages, but a non-fiction book from start to finish has been just too much. Until now!

As a non-English speaking background person, even with well over forty years of language skills, university studies and work experience writing a book that would be read by everyone in the world (those who speak English) is a daunting task. The big question is how to sound like a native speaker to the wide audience? The other question is how to overcome my uncertainty with my own language skills?

I have a lingering dyslexia that very much shows in my written language, even in Finnish, which is a phonetically laid out, strait forward language. Then there is the fact that I speak three languages and depending on what language I wake up each morning determines my English comprehension or grammar for that particular day. It is hard to change but with the brain plasticity now a norm belief system, it can be done, right.

Also, often when I think about an expression or a particular word I need, I come up with the right one either in Finnish or Swedish but translating that directly to English will become difficult, sometimes even impossible as the meaning of it will not come right to my mind.

Then I suddenly have a gap in my words, even simple ones while writing or speaking and then I have to come up with a roundabout way of expressing myself. The difficulties never cease. I am also used to people correcting my English language.

I am that Finnish person who puts the prepositions wrong every time, who cannot distinguish between S:s and C:s or K:s and G:s, who everyone asks to repeat their sentences or words to determine what they really are. I am the person who uses Latin words to compensate the English and who pronounces the historical places with their original names thus confusing the native English speakers. There is so much to compensate that one simply cannot express that in words. How would I be able to write a book in English?

I wrote an article about Helena Blavatsy to the Theosophist a few years back. It was published in 2008. It took two years to write. Of course it was an academic article where all the facts have to match with their sources and all the arguments have to be logical providing a conscientious and well thought argumentation. I painstakingly researched, wrote and re-wrote. It was a challenge that Joy Mills, one of the theosophical thought leaders in the world urged me to accomplish. It was her support and belief in that I could do it that got me through it. A good friend who then took it upon herself to edit my language helped me to finish it. And I was able to take the article to India, Chennai and Adyar and deliver it to the editor myself. It took a few years before it was published but finally the journal arrived by post and there it was. What an accomplishment I thought, then. Seeing that article in print was such a joy to me. But writing a whole book from start to finish, all those doubting chapters, how could I accomplish that? It did start with a plan after the idea struck me.

I had great need to get my message across to an audience that can be helped with my book. I set on researching what to do. I found a good article about writing a book proposition in a week and again, painstakingly followed it through, with setting my own plan. Then I attended some webinars, seminars and a day conference on how to become a 'person of influence'. There it struck me that I had come to a decision to commit to writing my book.

Weaving out useful advice from the information overflow of everything connected to writing is a huge task, but in the end I decided to boost my confidence by signing a self publishing contract with Xlibris, an international leader of indie writing. Doing that has paid off due to the support I have gotten from the repeated calls from the publishing consultant and other people involved. A membership in Authors Learning Centre has helped. My curiosity has been constantly fed with new ideas. But it would not have been possible without other support. It seems that there has to be a 'muse' to really inspire me to keep going. My 'muse' has been the 'Howling at the Moon' women's community for Unstoppable women run by a great friend and a success catalyst herself.

It is important to a person who is writing in a second language to have a strong support group to encourage daily action. Otherwise, whatever money is paid as incentive goes to waste as the spark dies with all the struggle with words and expressions that just do not come out right. It is not that I did not know what I wanted to say. It is about how to make it flow and how to get the right message out in flowing English. It is not that I would not have attempted it before, even trying my hand in fiction. The task has proved futile before. So what is it that made it work this time? I find two reasons for it.

Firstly, I feel that I am out of time as an emerging writer. If you are going to write a book, the time is now! This is a great decision to make. All become quite easy after one commits. There is not better time than now. All the daunting tasks can be tackled one at the time with a good plan and daily action.

Equally, in the second place is the real practical support with help with the language expression. A good personal editor who can interpret you and your meaning into a flow, so that the result will sound to you as it was meant to be, with all those right articles, prepositions and leading words that were lost in translation in the depths of your own brain. So, what are my lessons from getting my manuscript out there to the publisher in timely manner?

Number one is to have an exceptional support group and number two is to only have a selective hearing about who and what to listen to from all the negatively discouraging 'cacomania' out there. Only let the positive waves affect you and your actions. Some risk taking also needs to come to play.

Choose an encouraging publishing stream and drive to make your own experience as enjoyable as possible with positive thinking and taking action towards your goal. Intervals are a good thing. Let the manuscript mature.

And most of all, enjoy the journey into a published author in the English speaking world where everyone is able to pick your book either in hard cover, soft cover or download it as an eBook.

My recommendations:
- a good book proposition
- a great women's support group
- a personal coach to help with the plan
- a personal interpreting editor
- lots of positive thinking
- genuine action to the plan

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