This report here is the written out version of my LOVE ON THE LINE TV CONVERSATIONS, SPECIAL REPORT on the TAINTED LOVE Exploring the Reality of Romance Fraud SYMPOSIUM.
The YouTube Love on the Line TV Conversations Report
Here is the script:
I am really pleased to welcome you to the Love on the Line
TV Conversations SPECIAL REPORT on a very exciting event. Namely, the ‘Tainted
Love’. Exploring the reality of romance fraud. A Symposium that was held in
Brisbane last week. (31/05/2016)
The Symposium was organized by Dr Cassandra Cross and hosted
by the Crime and Justice Research Centre at QUT.
I was privileged to be in attendance and display my book Love on the Line at the symposium, of
which I am really grateful for. Because, we need more of the stories of the victims of
romance fraud to be shared amongst the public.
What I am showing you here are the highlights of the
Symposium as I experienced them. It is my take on the issue of romance scams.
Especially about the prevention and support of the victims to enhance their or
our recovery as I myself am one of the survivors.
If later my report inspires you to listen or see some of the
whole speeches given at the symposium, the link to the recordings will appear
below when it comes available. But you can check the QUT Crime and Justice
Research Centre’s Website through the link.
I should warn you, though, that this report does not give you all the
details of Ms Sharon Armstrong’s plight when she was scammed to becoming a drug
mule through a romance scam and arrested in Argentina and imprisoned there for
two and half years. You can read all about it by clicking the links provided.
What I heard and am reporting here is how I relate to her
personal survival and recovery story from the incident which started several
years ago and has impacted her whole life and will impact just about every decision
she makes from here on. I am very pleased to have recorded a separate Love on
the Line TV conversation with her. So, stay tuned and subscribe so that you
will not miss is for it is in the making.
It is warming to my heart to witness such compassion in an
event of this kind and willingness to practical action in order to resolve
issues around romance fraud although we know how ineffective our work sometimes
is as there are more and more scammers appearing. But what is the most
important issue that is being touched here at the symposium and can be changed
is the way the victim survival and recovery is handled.
Sharon Armstrong’s story has touched me deeply. We met the
first time last year when she was invited to speak at our QLD Police Headhunters
for the Fraud Prevention Support group. This group meets every second Sunday on
the month. Then, I blogged about her. Just click the link to read it.
Sharon’s story has similar kind of elements to mine. She
fell fast and hard, just like me. She is a person who has had previous
experience about similar situations which could have applied to her scamming
circumstance if she would have known to see the connections. Just like me she
did not.
His first message to me had me
hooked, like I never been before.
To cut a very long and sordid story short, I fell hard and fast.
To cut a very long and sordid story short, I fell hard and fast.
I should have recognised the grooming
that was accruing. I mean in a previous life, I had worked within corrections
and I had had many of encounter with sex offenders and opportunities to study
their technique. But no, I had my rose coloured classes on.
With the benefit of hindsight, I
now believe, the scammers respond to your insecurities, your desires and your
kindness. They look for those who are trusting, compassionate, and looking
either consciously or subconsciously or unconsciously for someone, or something
to fulfill, what you feel will enrich your life in some way.
The fraudsters are clever and can change their technique as
quickly as the need occurs, because when Sharon at first was anxious about the
situation and just about nearly told the scammer that the situation with him
and her was ‘too good to be true’. He told her that it was not about the money.
He tells me I would be his PA.
Really, his fiancée, he says. How funny is that? I think now. Me, who has never
held any intention of ever marrying again was being excited by the thought of
this man wanting to marry me.
Sharon’s story is very moving. To me, it is very incredible
that a woman of this caliber would be able to be scammed and framed like she
had been. But thinking of how I too fell and was duped although my experience
was just a brief encounter compared to hers, I now understand better the depth
of the betrayal, she went through. She did all the right things, checked all
the right sources, including the man’s said company, although she did not know then
that later it was taken off the Internet. Luckily her family was her backbone, though.
I remember promising them that I
would cope and I would get through this, regardless of the consequences.
I went through feeling of huge
shame. The knowledge that my family was suffering and that I should have known
better was overwhelming. Most days, I kept torturing myself as to why I hadn’t
seen all the signs that now seemed so obvious. Finally, I reached the point
where I knew that these thoughts were not healthy. I didn’t want to feel like a
victim - anymore. I came to realise that I would survive this and come out with
new knowledge and understanding of how these things happened.
So, how did I achieve this?
Family, friends, strangers support
and unconditional belief in me, prayer, humour, positive thoughts, remaining
focused, routine, working within the prison and knowing ther is always someone else facing tougher challenges.
Listening to Sharon made me deeply grateful to know that
there are people who have taken up the fight for the survivors of romance scams.
The next speaker was Dr Casandra Cross herself. I have been
impressed by her research, both previous and the new one.
Dr Cassandra Cross:
Just to give you context. I’ve been
researching in this area for just over eight years now. In the previous life, I
actually worked for the QLD Police service and that was where I was introduced
to the problem of fraud. And that is when I started to talking to people like
Sharon, who were brave enough to share their stories.
When we think about romance fraud;
what exactly is it? I know I’ve had lots of questions, I guess from a lot of
media, I’ve done. How is romance fraud different to just a bad relationship?
And, I think they are both bad relationships. I think many people would agree
with that.
So, the victim is defraud through
the guise of a legitimate relationship and I think this is what’s problematic,
because as we heard Sharon say. She was in that relationship and while she was
questioning, she was blinded. I guess, had the blinkers on about the person and
how she felt about him and how she thought he felt about her.
So, there is research on this that
the Internet facilitates a more intense relationship. That people ate more open
on the Internet. And can develop what is perceived to be a more intimate and
intense relationship online than face to face. And the main finding to come out
of this is the double headed victimisation.
I can certainly say from the
victims that I have spoken in this current research that it’s the loss of the
relationship that is actually , I think harder to take, sometimes, than the
loss of the money. Because that is what has the significant impact on them.
Dr Cassandra Cross stressed again and again that the impact of romance fraud is far greater than just the money. The feeling of shame and the blaming the victim looks to be one of the main problems of the victims not coming forwards and sharing their stories. The new research Cassandra is taking on will be explaining romance fraud from the framework of domestic violence. That is certainly my understanding and experience that there is a direct link there to be found. So, I am especially excited about the coming research and am looking forwards to having a Love on the Line TV conversation as well.
The two Government Officials who were in attendance and
speaking at the symposium were very compassionate people and I was so happy to
meet them.
Delia Richard spoke of all the interesting action the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission is taking. She said that the romance fraud
is a number one priority with the Scamwatch.
She also addressed the misconception about who and which
gender was more targeted by the scammers. According to her the ACCC statistics
show that it is about 50/50 but that men lose a bit more money. Delia praised
Cassandra’s new research as very important because it will connect the romance
fraud with the domestic violence and many victims ‘not so uncommon’ past
relationship experience with violence in the family they grew up with. It can
easily predispose the victims accommodating behavior as the keepers of peace in
their relationships.
Lastly, David Hillyard who talked about the very successful
Project Sunbird in Western Australia. I had previously heard a lot about this
project and was very excited to hear what he said.
Part of this was touched by Sharon.
It’s about that perfect business model and that perfect business model about
low inputs but big outtakes. One of the other essential elements of this
criminal behavior is that you can confuse the authorities both in one country
or one state, or across the world. And this sort of scam is that perfect model.
It falls between the cracks everywhere.
I said before, the earlier we
intervene, the less losses people sustain but we are not stopping it. Programs
that are out there that the scammers are operating, the criminal groups that
are operating out there are recruiting as fast as we stop it.
So, I guess our last message is:
They are still coming. And they don’t stop coming.
David finished with: “It’s a strange old world we are working with.” And I am certain he knows and has great experience in working with those people who need convincing about the fraudsters being what they are. Luckily he also said that by sending letters to people that have been sending money offshore, progress is being made. So we ended up with a hopeful note on all accounts.
I certainly learned a huge amount about romance fraud and I am
able to go forwards to work on my own small way to raise the awareness about
romance scams around the place.
I very much thank the speakers and you all for watching and
listening. This will all be in my blog and on YouTube so keep subscribing.
There is more to come with the Love on the Live TV Conversations. Next it will
be that conversation with Sharon Armstrong I promised before, so stay tuned.
Have a very good day for now and keep fighting and
#standup2scams as Sharon has put it.
USEFUL TWITTER HANDLES:
@ejuusola @standup2scams @CrimeJusticeQUT @DrCassCross @Scamwatch_gov @ConsumerWA
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